Songs you have never heard before

[peterj]

Mr. Custer
by Verne Larry

(That famous day in history the men of the 7th Cavalry went riding on)
(And from the rear a voice was heard)
(A brave you man with a trembling word rang loud and clear)
What am I doin' here??

Please Mr. Custer, I don't wanna go
Hey, Mr. Custer, please don't make me go
I had a dream last night about the comin' fight
Somebody yelled "attack!"
And there I stood with a arrow in my back.

Please Mr. Custer, I don't wanna go (forward Ho!!)--aaww

SPOKEN: Look at them bushes out there
They're moving and there's a injun behind every one
Hey, Mr. Custer-you mind if I be excused the rest of the afternoon?
HEY CHARLIE, DUCK YER HEAD!!
Hmm, you're a little bit late on that one, Charlie
Hooh, I bet that smarts!

(They were sure of victory, the men of the 7th Cavalry, as they rode on)

(But then from the rear a voice was heard)
(That same brave voice with the trembling word rang loud and clear)
What am I doin' here??

Please Mr. Custer, I don't wanna go
Listen, Mr. Custer, please don't make me go
There's a redskin a'waitin' out there, just fixin to take my hair
A coward I've been called cuz I don't wanna wind up dead or bald

Please Mr. Custer, I don't wanna go (forward HO)--aaww

SPOKEN: I wonder what the injun word for friend is
Let's see-friend-- kemo sabe, that's it
KEMO SABE!, HEY OUT THERE-KEMO SABE!
Nope, that itn't it
Look at them durned injuns
They're runnin' around like a bunch of wild Indians-heh, heh, heh
Nah, this ain't no time for jokin'

[Mamalicious]

~runs off covering my ears...trying to thing of NAMES of songs I've never heard before~

[Roderick]

Mr Custer...that song is brilliantly funny Peter...at the end...the guy carrying on...mr custer..,mr custer....MrCuster....MR CUSTER...so....funny

[peterj]

The Ghoul Song
Lyrics © 1999 by Terence Chua
(to the tune of "The Jet Song" by Leonard Bernstein & Stephen Sondheim - from "West Side Story")



When you're a ghoul you're a ghoul all the way
From the dawn of the dead till the end of the day
When you're a ghoul you will dance you will sing
You'll have excellent taste (Thigh's too fat - try a wing)


Your dinner is served - the body's ripe for pickin'
It's human hors d'oeurve - they say it tastes like chicken
It's finger-lickin'!


When you're a ghoul you'll be fleet on your feet
And each guy passing by's just a big hunk of meat
Every body - on that - ever - bloody - street!


When you're a ghoul there's a whole lot to gain
You're the creme de la creme - you're the top of the chain
When you're a ghoul all the world is your plate
And you always will have a confirmed dinner date


The funeral's done - it's time to end the stake out
We'll carry the box - the norms won't see the fake out
It's like Chinese take out!


Once you're a ghoul then your future is sealed
Every grown up's for food - and the children are veal
Every kiddy's - gonna - be a - Happy - Meal!

[peterj]

"Please Mr Custer" was played on Jim Sutton's music programme on ZB on Saturday night.

[Roderick]

""...there's an injin waiting out there...waitng to cut my hair..""
..."" i don't want to wind up dead or bald ""

mr cuthter...mr cuthter.....""...he said mr Custer with a lisp......cuth..ter

[peterj]

You know the tune, but here are the words;

Garryowen


Let Bacchus' sons be not dismayed
But join with me, each jovial blade
Come, drink and sing and lend your aid
To help me with the chorus:

Chorus
Instead of spa, we'll drink brown ale
And pay the reckoning on the nail;
No man for debt shall go to jail
From Garryowen in glory.

We'll beat the bailiffs out of fun,
We'll make the mayor and sheriffs run
We are the boys no man dares dun
If he regards a whole skin.

Chorus

Our hearts so stout have got no fame
For soon 'tis known from whence we came
Where'er we go they fear the name
Of Garryowen in glory.

Chorus

Notes:

Garry Owen was the unofficial marching song of the Seventh Cavalry. Gen. Custer reportedly heard the song among his Irish troop and liked it. The tune was then played so often the 7th became tied to it.

[rose]

[Roadhog]

Havnt heard this one in yonks... till Radio Hauraki played it today...

The Newcastle Song, by Bob Hudon

Don't you ever let a chance go by O Lord
Don't you ever let a chance go by

'Cause up in Newcastle
They have very strange mating habits
All the young women of Newcastle
Walk down the main street,
Which is called Hunter Street
(for reasons which will become obvious
later on in the song)
And all the young men of Newcastle
Drive down Hunter Street
In their hot FJ Holdens
With chrome-plated grease nipples
and double reverse twin cam door handles
Sitting eight abreast in the front seat
And they would lean out the window
And say real cool things to the sheilas on the footpath

Like uhhh.... 'G'day'
And every now and then of course
One of the young ladies thinks to herself
uuum, uuuuuum

Don't you ever let a chance go by O Lord
Don't you ever let a chance go by
Don't you ever let a chance go by O Lord
Don't you ever let a chance go by

Anyway there was this mob of blokes
driving down Hunter Street
In the front seat of their hot FJ
With chrome-plated grease nipples
and twin overhead foxtails
And the cooolest of them all
Who got to sit near the window
Was young Normie

They pulled up outside the Parthenon milkbar
And standing outside the Parthenon
Was this beautiful looking sheila
'Oooohh'....'Oooooohh'.... said young Normie
Who'd come top of his class in English
'Ooooohh'... he said
So he leaned out the window and he said
real suave like he said...
'Uh, G'day'

This nine foot tall Hells Angel
Came out of the Parthenon milkbar
He looked at Norm and said
'Oh what are ya!'
Norm said 'What are you?'
The bloke on the footpath said
'Do you wanna go do ya mate, eh'
Norm said 'yeah, do you wanna go, mate'
The bloke on the footpath said,
'Yeah, I'll have a go'
Norm said, 'Do you know who ya pickin''
The bloke on the footpath said,
'Nooo, who am I pickin''
Norm said, 'You find out!'

And all of a sudden there was a break in the traffic
As any young Newcastle lad knows,
When you are getting monstered by a
nine foot tall Hells Angel
And there's a break in the traffic....

Don't you ever let a chance go by O Lord
Don't you ever let a chance go by
Don't you ever let a chance go by O Lord
Don't you ever let a chance go by

Don't you ever let a chance go by O Lord
Don't you ever let a chance go by
Don't you ever let a chance go by O Lord
Don't you ever let a chance go by

[Roadhog]

I'm an ordinary joker, growin' old before me time,
'Cause me heart's in Taumarunui on the Main Trunk Line.
in Taumarunui, Taumarunui. Taumarunui on the Main Trunk Line!
You can get to Taumarunui going North or going South,
And you pull in there at midnight and there's cinders in your mouth,
You've got cinders in your whiskers and a cinder in your eye,
So you pop off to Refreshments for a cuppa tea and pie,
in Taumarunui...



There's this sheila in Refreshments and she's pouring cups'a tea,
And me heart jumps like a rabbit when she pours a cup for me.
She's got hair'f flamin' yeller, and lips'f flamin' red,
And I'll love that flamin' shiela till I'm up and gone and dead,
from Taumarunui...

Now you can get a job in Wellington or get a job up North,
But you can't in Taumarunui though you try for all you're worth.
If I want to see this shiela I've got to take a train,
Get ten minutes for refresments then they cart me off again,
from Taumarunui...

Well they took me on as Fireman on the Limited Express,
Add I thought that she'd be Jake but now she's all a flamin' mess.
That shiela wouldn't take t' me: I thought she'd be a gift,
But she's gone and changed her duty hours and works the daylight shift,
in Taumarunui...



Yeah I'm an ordinary joker, growin' old before me time,
'Cause me heart's in Ta'm'runui on the Main Trunk Line.

In Ta'm'r'nui, Ta'm'r'nui, Ta'm'r'nui on the Main Trunk Line,
In Ta'm'r'nui, Ta'm'r'nui, Tamra-bloody-nui on the Main Trunk Line!

[yogismum]

lts all good! great memories too

[peterj]

I meet a chap whose GrandDad got asked to leave that town in the 1880's- his drinking was starting to worry them.

Sounds like they were scared of the competition or being left with dry glasses.

[peterj]

TAKING MY OYSTER FOR WALKIES



(Only available on "The Goodies Beastly Record", released circa 1977/78.
Lyrics: sung by Graeme



I often go out walking on a Sunday

I like to take a stroll down by the sea

'Coz there's a little shellfish store, down by the harbour wharf

There I'll stop and say "hello", and think of how a year ago



I bought myself a quite delicious oyster

I thought I'd save it for a special day

But gradually I found, it was nice to have around

So now on Sundays, if it's dry, the people stop and stare as I …



Am taking my oyster for walkies

She's really incredibly sweet

We walk very slow, because as you know

An oyster has very few feet … if any!

I'm taking my oyster for walkies

And my oyster is taking to me



I admit I've had affairs with other molluscs

Well mussels have a certain sex appeal

And I well recall the twinkle, when I first saw a winkle

And surely nothing can conceal, the candour of a jellied eel



Well alright, I caused a scandal with a scallop

But I'm really not so shellfish anymore

'Coz a loveable crustacean, has expended my frustration

You can stuff your cockles 'coz instead, I'm happy in my oyster bed



I'm taking my oyster for walkies (Walkies)

How I wish I could marry the girl (Ohhh, ohhh)

If only she could see, we'd, be as happy as could be, we'd

Have an excellent chance of a pearl … let's try!

I'm taking my oyster for walkies (Walkies)

And my oyster is taking to me



I'm taking my oyster for walkies (Walkies)

She's the daintiest dish ever made

With barnacles on it, in her oyster bonnet

She's the Queen of the oyster parade … she's lovely!

I'm taking my oyster for walkies (Walkies)

And my oyster is taking to me



Oh I've been locked up with a limpet, and I thought it was swell

Had relations with a lobster, that was all very well

But you should see my oyster when she comes out of her shell

Oh I'm taking my oyster for walkies (Walkies)

And my oyster is taking … my oyster is taking … my oyster is taking to me!



Give us a kiss … [slurp] … Oh dear!

[peterj]

I AM A CARNIVORE

On their '70's album "The Goodies Beastly Record".
Lyrics: sung by Tim and Graeme



All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small

The cuddly and the furry ones, I love to eat them all (ohh, ohh, ohh)



I am a carnivore, and I'm proud to say

I eat meat for breakfast, tea and dinner every day

I am a carnivore, I cannot deny it

Moo cows, pigs and baa lambs are my staple diet



It is not perverted, it is not a crime

I know lots of people who do it all the time (I should say so!)

I am a carnivore, and I'm glad to say

There's many other carnivores gathered here today



Fellow carnivores, we meat again. (1) It touches my heart to be in a nice joint like this. (3) It really is a lovely plaice (4) and I'm so glad we can fillet. (5) If I only re-veal it (6), I know many of us live a fowl life. (7) We get in some terrible stews (8 1/2), but there's a lot at steak (9), so let's not duck our responsibilities. (10) Let's have no more beefing (11) because the next one's for the chop (12). And now let us join together in a little song entitled Sir Loin, It's Been Good To Gnaw You! (14 - it's a record! HURRAY!)



We are carnivores, we want the world to know

Better hide your life, or "chomp chomp chomp" we go

Carnivorous together, I've been one all my life

I really must invite you to come home and eat my wife (Sounds tasty!)



We are carnivores, and we're proud to say

We eat meat for breakfast, tea and dinner every day

[ancient1]

My Shoes Keep Walking Back To You
Ray Price
I dont think it is all there
VERSE 1:
I must (F)say that I don't care
Hold my (C)head up in the air
Even tell my friends I'm (Cm7)glad that you don't (F)call
But when the day is through
My (C)heart aches start a new
And that's when I (Cm7)miss you most of (F)all

CHORUS:
And my (F)arms, keep reaching (C)for you
My eyes, keep searching (F)for you
My lips, keep calling (B)for you
And my (C)shoes keep walking back to (F)you

VERSE 2:
No matter (F)how much I pretend
I wish I (C)had you back again
Cause nothing else means (Cm7)half as much as (F)you
Our world just seem to die
The (C)day you said good-bye
And I can't for get know (Cm7)matter what I (F)do

REPEAT CHORUS:
TAGG:
And my (C)shoes keep walking back to (F)you