Post by fleigerhauptman on Sept 12, 2011 11:06:58 GMT 12
Two patients in Sunnyside mental hospital were standing by the fence in lincoln road,watching the owner of a house across the road shoveling foul manure into a barrow and wheeling it around the back of the house.
After watching this for about half an hour one of the patients yells out:"hey mister what are you going to do with all that shit"
The guy yells back "im taking it around the back to put on my strawberries"
The other patient thinks for a moment, then says" you're mad you bastard you aught to come in here, we have cream on ours".
years ago when Sir Bernard Ferguson opened Ferguson Clinic, all the patients had to line up and salute him.
All but one patient did so but this one bloke steadfastly refused, no mater how many times he was asked to salute.
"Do you know who I am" asked sir bernard,"no"says the guy shaking his head.
"I'm the governer general of New Zealand" says Fergusson so please salute.
"look mate"says the patient "I thoght I was the king of F*****g
England when I first came in here".
"But they bloody soon knocked that idea outa my head".
This realy beautiful young lady volunteer was visiting F ward in
sunnyside hospital,which was in the old grey stone building which is no longer used.
Watching the patients in the day room she saw this realy old chap standing all alone in one of the corners,so thinking he could do with a bit of cheering up she went over to him.
"Hello,& what's your name" she asked sweetly.
"B b b bobby" replied the patient.
"And what do you do here"asked the sweet young thing.
"Oh I've got a shop and sell oranges to all the visitors and volunteers" says the old chap.
Thinking she'd play along she said "in that case I'd like a Lb of your choicest oranges please Bobby"
The old guy reaches foreward as if to serve her, then makes out that he's just dropped the oranges.
Seeing this the young lady asks:"what's wrong".
"oh I'm terribly sorry" says the old bloke"but I dropped your oranges,would you mind picking them up for me, my arthritis is killing me today"
"certainly" says the sweet young thing,and bends down to pick up the imaginary oranges.
Quick as a flash the old bloke runs his hand up her skirt and grabs her by the fanny.
She suddenly stand up and says " oh oh who in the world did that".
"How the F**k would I know when I've got a shop full of people"
says the old bloke.
After watching this for about half an hour one of the patients yells out:"hey mister what are you going to do with all that shit"
The guy yells back "im taking it around the back to put on my strawberries"
The other patient thinks for a moment, then says" you're mad you bastard you aught to come in here, we have cream on ours".
years ago when Sir Bernard Ferguson opened Ferguson Clinic, all the patients had to line up and salute him.
All but one patient did so but this one bloke steadfastly refused, no mater how many times he was asked to salute.
"Do you know who I am" asked sir bernard,"no"says the guy shaking his head.
"I'm the governer general of New Zealand" says Fergusson so please salute.
"look mate"says the patient "I thoght I was the king of F*****g
England when I first came in here".
"But they bloody soon knocked that idea outa my head".
This realy beautiful young lady volunteer was visiting F ward in
sunnyside hospital,which was in the old grey stone building which is no longer used.
Watching the patients in the day room she saw this realy old chap standing all alone in one of the corners,so thinking he could do with a bit of cheering up she went over to him.
"Hello,& what's your name" she asked sweetly.
"B b b bobby" replied the patient.
"And what do you do here"asked the sweet young thing.
"Oh I've got a shop and sell oranges to all the visitors and volunteers" says the old chap.
Thinking she'd play along she said "in that case I'd like a Lb of your choicest oranges please Bobby"
The old guy reaches foreward as if to serve her, then makes out that he's just dropped the oranges.
Seeing this the young lady asks:"what's wrong".
"oh I'm terribly sorry" says the old bloke"but I dropped your oranges,would you mind picking them up for me, my arthritis is killing me today"
"certainly" says the sweet young thing,and bends down to pick up the imaginary oranges.
Quick as a flash the old bloke runs his hand up her skirt and grabs her by the fanny.
She suddenly stand up and says " oh oh who in the world did that".
"How the F**k would I know when I've got a shop full of people"
says the old bloke.